The Rise and Fall of Avastus

Season 5.0 The DM's nightmare

The official D&D OVA

I had the weirdest dream, It went something like this;

Some people may call that too warm, but let’s just say it was 30 degrees Celsius outside.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the birds were blissfully singing away in the afternoon sun. In the background I heard the sound of children screaming with joy and water hitting the bottom of slides with violent splashes.

Around me there was a large group of colorful individuals that initially didn’t draw my attention. They looked like ordinary human beings, besides the fact that some were extremely tall, muscular or just simply covered in fur.

We headed into a large wooden building which was clearly built from the remnants of old ships. Fishermen’s nets hung above our heads and large round tables were constructed atop of old steering wheels. The nets were lined with Tinkers and treasures and many different pirate flags lined the walls. The entire room was warm and slightly humid, it smelled of a combination of wet wood, chlorine and recently extinguished candles. A guitar, ukelele and violin could be heard somewhere in the background but the most obvious sounds were those coming from the outside of the building.

We all sat down at a large table at which I finally got the chance to look at the company I found myself in. To my own amazement they were characters from my dungeons and dragons campaign. The building itself was filled with minor side characters who were all standing in the background minding their own business. Reverence and Jhaqen were both standing at the same table, discussing women and alcohol. Reverence raised his glass at me with his tail as he noticed me looking his way. A bit further down there was Keyleth in a red bikini, smoking a cigarette whilst wearing a pair of over sized sunglasses. The commanders of the freedom army were all sitting at one big round table, drinking and laughing.

At the left side of my table there were Flynn, Timmy, Richard and Jim, the kobold necromancer of doom. Flynn looked like a 60’s version of wolverine, sporting a pair of board shorts and a pair of aviator sunglasses. Timmy tried to copy his look, but just ended up looking like a kid trying to copy his older brother. Richard was wearing a black speedo and seemed to be making an effort to stay in a modeling pose at all times. Jim was wearing a life vest and a pair of children’s floating armbands. Which is weird, because I always figured Kobolds would be great swimmers.

Winslow was sitting at the far end of the table. He was wearing a large Hawaiian shirt which was only buttoned up halfway. Instead of his signature pirate hat he wore a straw hat and he had an unlit cigar in breast pocket.

To my right there were Alice, Aylin,Jade and Dyno. Alice was wearing a blue bikini, clearly involving some kind of push up bra as she was constantly making flirty eye contact with Arya whenever she thought I wasn’t looking. Over the years Alice went from being a stuck up novice paladin to an expert of Defense that drops all the rules as soon as the clock hits five. Today was clearly her day off.
Jade was wearing a purple bating suit and shawl combination, somehow she found a way to make her bathing attire look the least casual of the bunch.
Next to Jade, and almost stuck to her arm was Dynolias, or just Dino, who was of course wearing purple swimming trunks to match Jade’s outfit, he was covered in sunscreen and wore a small hat to protect him from the sun.
Aylin was wearing a black bikini with multiple jolly roger’s printed on it. She was carefully readjusting her top and breast size until she noticed too many people were staring, after which she grew a large mustache to keep people from looking at her whilst she fixed her top. Once she was done she sat back to look around the table.
Gyatso was casually leaning against a pillar just behind Aylin. He was wearing something which looked like a black lifeguard uniform and a pair of swimming goggles. His tattoos were configured to shape like waves over his arms and neck.
Arya was sitting just off to my left on a large barrel. She was wearing a pink bikini and was playfully rocking up and down the barrel whilst she waited for the meeting to start. She clearly wasn’t sure if she wanted to be in hybrid or human form, because she may have switched a few times as I looked around the table.

Just when I started wondering how all these characters got here I opened my mouth and spoke the following sentence;
‘You all know why you are here. The next chapter of the campaign is starting and I need inspiration on how to continue. I have been making plans to jump through several dimensions in which you will all be slightly altered. Today I would like your feedback and maybe personal preferences so we can further develop your characters by placing them in their niche environment.’
‘Can we go to the pool yet?’ Dino asked whilst tugging Jade‘s shawl, ’I already know my part’
‘Shhh, in a minute Dino,’ Jade whispered, ‘He will be done in a minute’
‘Actually I think we will be sitting here for a while’ Flynn replied, ’I’m sort of him and this can take some time.’

Dino looked completely bummed out and I felt sorry for the kid.
‘But it’s so hot…’ He complained once more, ’Can’t we get a slushie?’
‘In a minute snowflake,’ Jade replied once more, ‘As soon as….’
Jade and I made eye contact for a second and she stopped talking,
‘Just go,’I said, ‘But be sure to take a responsible adult with you.’
‘Ok..’ Dino got up from his chair and looked across the room for a second, ‘hmmm’
He raised his finger and pointed at Gyatso.
‘Responsible…’ I said, whilst Winslow chuckled.
‘Wha…’ Gyatso raised his arms whilst looking at me. ‘How am I not responsible.’
‘He wants you to buy him ice cream my boy,’ Winslow answered, ‘Not beat down on prices…’
A small laughter went through the group.
’I’ll go with you,’ Aylin said, ‘if that’s ok with you… DM…’ She said with a cynical tone.
‘No… by all means, you and Jade are technically the same person anyway,’ I replied.

Some confused looks went across the table and after several seconds the group turned their attention back to me.

Jim the Kobold also got up from his chair and followed Aylin and Dino as they left the room.
Jim…’ I asked, ‘Where are you going?’
‘Iceream?’ he asked carefully.
‘Just try to stay with the responsible adult…’ I said as I waved him off.
’I’m older th…’ He tried to reply, but then he lowered his finger and darted after Aylin and Dino.

The table befell quiet for a second.
‘How about larger enemies with higher Armour class and increased damage,’ Jade suggested, ‘It will show we can handle strong enemies as a unit and further establish our reputation as legendary heroes…’
‘Will you be joining these encounters Jade?’
‘I would of course partake in such encounters for I am the most capable character to exert control in such a situation…’ She said with a stern voice.
’I’ll add one, and then a ton of minions to give others a chance to shine…’
‘Yes…’ Gyatso whispered whilst quenching his fist.
I glanced at Arya, who was now flopped out over the barrel which she was lying on. Her ears were sadly hanging downward as sweat dripped from her fur.
‘Whoo…’ She tried to exclaim, as she made a sad attempt to raise her fist.
‘You warm?’ I asked.
‘Yes…’ she grunted.
‘You want to get a slushie?’ I asked.
‘Yes please,’ she replied politely.
‘Just go…’ I sighed, as I glanced around the room. ‘Where are you going Alice?’
Alice had just gotten up from her chair. ‘I… ehm… I’m going to join Arya and… the others, for a.. slushie..’
‘You are terrible Alice, just go…’
‘You wrote me…’ She snapped back.
‘I…’ I turned to Flynn for support but he shrugged his shoulders ’Don’t look at me man…’

I took the opportunity to look at the remaining people in the room. Flynn was casually hanging in his chair, looking at the ceiling for interesting tinkers and treasure which were hung up as ornaments. Timmy was sitting on the edge of his seat and was anxiously awaiting my next words.Richard was scrolling his smartphone for pictures of hunky men whilst trying to show them to Timmy. Winslow was sitting with his arms folded over his body, like a grumpy old businessman on holiday, waiting for the next course of his meal. Jade was the last one sitting at her side of the table. She was sitting perfectly upright and looked me dead in the eyes with her piercing eyes of emerald green.

‘Everybody who wants to get a slushie can leave now…’ I said,
Gyatso slipped towards the door as quickly as he could and left to meet up with the others.
Flynn and Richard both looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and both tried to look as cool as possible as they headed for the exit.

I shook my head and continued the conversation.
’Here’s the situation…’ I tried, ‘We got a massive army to the south of the wall, and we need to bypass these armies by shifting into another dimension. Which dimensions can we use to carefully introduce the team into the concept?’
‘Well…’ Timmy tried, ‘There could be… like a dimension where… err… I was like all… cool.’
‘Cool?’ I asked, ‘Cool… I can work with that.’

‘We could go full western,’ Jake said, as he and Morbid sat themselves at the table.
They were both wearing matching swimming trunks and sunglasses. Morbid was holding a large inflatable beach ball under his arm.
‘We can be savage!’ Morbid grunted, ‘Perhaps outlaws!’
The duo then high-fived each other, ‘Mad idea bro.’
‘You want to be the bad guys?’ I asked Morbid, ‘That usually means Gyatso kills you, you…’
‘Well, If we’e evil…’ Jake interrupted, ‘Then the dimension can only improve aight?’
‘Ok, helping dimensions with a focus on your own. I can work with that, anything else?’

A few ideas went across the table for multiple dimensions and settings, mainly revolving certain styles and era’s from my time. The discussion was broken by a soaking wet Dino who darted into the room followed by Gyatso who ran after him with a towel.
Jade! Jade!’ Dino called out as he grabbed her arm and enthusiastically started telling about how far Gyatso could throw him into the swimming pool and about the massive dive bombs Aylin could make whilst they let Jim wait in line for the drinks. Jim then shuffled into the room with an over sized tray with all kinds of colored slushies raised above his head.

Jade tried to look at the three soaking wet adventurers in disapproval but couldn’t help but smile. ‘Good job Jim,’ She remarked as she took one of the slushies from the tray.
‘Who wants to hit water world!?’ Jake called out as he jumped up from his chair.
‘Yeah!’ Morbid followed up.
Jake…’ I said whilst I looked at him disbelief.
‘What? We’e done ‘ere, you know it…’ He said whilst raising his arms in disbelief.
‘Here you go mr DM sir,’ Dino said as he handed me a bright blue icy cold slushie.
Jade…’ I said as I took the drink, ‘Little less formal.’
‘Call him buttface,’ Gyatso snickered,
‘Should I kill you again?’ I asked him as I looked his way.
‘You couldn’t even if you wanted to,’ Jade laughed.
I stuck my tongue out at Jade, ‘Just call me Tristan,’ I said as I turned to Dino.
‘Ok mr DM Tristan.’ Dino replied as he maintained eye contact with Jade.

Just as I wanted make a remark Alice and Arya re-entered the room hand in hand, holding slushies in the other, ‘When are you writing Alice back into the story?’ Arya pressed.
‘I know I am doing important stuff, but I feel I..’ Alice paused for a second, ‘I think I…’
‘Next episode… Grand return.’ I interrupted, ‘Happy?’
‘Any other questions?’ I asked as I leaned back in my chair drinking my blueberry slushie.

‘Jolly good meeting sir,’ Winslow said as he got up from the opposite side of the table and walked over to my chair. ‘May I suggest you don’t forget Water… World…’ He stressed the last part of the sentence as he leaned on the table whilst reaching for his cigar.
‘I see where you are going with this.’ I smiled at him, ‘Aylin has also been asking for a pirate world. Maybe it’s about time we give it a re-run.’
‘Since when do you smoke anyway Winnie?’ I asked.
‘Ever since I was evil…’ Winslow winked.
‘Oooohh…’ I smiled as I got up from my chair and exited the building into the bright sunlight of reality.

I woke up with a raging headache, I overslept and I had so much work to do.

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